Open Handed

"'Has not my hand made all these things,
and so they came into being?'
declares the Lord.
'These are the ones I look on with favor:
those who are humble and contrite in spirit,
and who tremble at my Word.'" 
Isaiah 66:2

Sometimes...

I want to rewrite this story.

Ethan has been coughing up blood. 

And it is now draining from his G/J-tube.

The Pediatric Surgery clinic told us the only resolution

would be surgery.

5 days to to go.

Beauty through pain.

There are moments when I am overcome by

great sorrow.

When I feel like I might just buckle under the

weight of one more surgery,

one more hospitalization,

one more setback.

But this love for God?

This wild love that calls me to

abandon anything and everything

to go where He calls

and to do what He says?

That matters more.

Live open handed.

And so...

if there is suffering...

let it be that

we find the unmistakable

truth of God's presence within.