"When my heart is overwhelmed
lead me to the rock that is higher than I."
Psalm 61:2
"Lead me to the rock..."
I have been carrying those words with me all week.
Surgery tomorrow.
And despite 2.5 years of this,
the realization that every day home
makes it harder to entrust him into anyone else's hands,
still delivers a sharp blow.
"No more hospitals."
Those are the words I want to say.
But the intrinsic value of having no control...
means putting it completely in God's hands.
Sometimes you have no choice.
We made today count.
Because the unknown is scary.
And the minutes together are way too precious.
So we loved on this boy.
Questions nag at our mind.
"Will it be a week of hospitalization...
or a year?"
"What if they can't fix it?"
"Will there be complications?
"Let go..."
God breaks through the fear
and the worry.
A sweet reminder that I do not have to be in control here.
I can trust that God will use this...
all of this...
for His good.
It took me years to realize that my faith is not measured
It took me years to realize that my faith is not measured
in the amount of Scripture I have memorized.
Nor in the years I have spent studying the Bible.
It is not reflected in the people I surround myself with.
Or the works that I do.
It is found only in my personal relationship with Jesus.
And this is where He wants us.
Empty handed.
Hearts broken.
Wholly
and completely
dependent on Him.
My rock.
"They will have no fear of bad news;
their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord."
Psalm 112:7
