Tuesday, March 12, 2013

All In


"Be joyful always."
1 Thessalonians 5:16



As expected, Ethan's esophagus was closed down.
His doctor worked diligently 
and was able to reopen it. 
But not without complication.

Revisiting a familiar road.
Again.
Ethan remains on the ventilator.
With nitrous oxide.
He spiked a fever.
And is battling RSV.

From here out he will need weekly dilations.
His next one is scheduled for Friday. 

Last night was really rough.
Ethan was desatting to the point of needing to be bagged.
As a result of his past ECMO, his heart has some issues this time.
The ventricles are weak and his heart rate is very low.
This evening he received a blood transfusion
and his vent settings were increased.

Yes, sometimes
it does get worse.

We live in a world where we want to find a fix for everything. 
Where imperfections become burdens...
and burdens become grief.
But
what if that is wrong?
What if...
despite tragedy
and trial
there can not only be acceptance,
but there can be joy.

That is where God is leading.
And I want to follow Him.
All in.